Welcome back to the
spares update! I’m sure you’re all looking forward to seeing what Tes has been
up to, aside from partying!
So we start this chapter with Waters Booker, a romance sim with a barrage of suitors!
And here she is!
Waters: “I’m on the phone!”
Oh. Sorry.
Waters: “No, not you. Listen, can you come over? I’m desperate.”
Waters: “Bring a friend? Usually I’d be down for a little menage a trois but not today. Bring your
cute butt down here now.”
Aw Kevin Beare’s
back! He must’ve made an impact on Tes during her college years.
Kevin: “Is this love?”
Waters: “Sure.”
Waters: “Booyah!”
Kevin: “This bed is far comfier than the one back at your college
house.”
Waters: “Well, you’re not sticking around to get a proper night’s sleep
so don’t worry about it.”
Kevin: “This photo is ugly!”
It’s of a sleeping
dog. How can that be ugly? Everyone’s a critic…
Making yourself a
snack?
Waters: “This is more like, thanks for the woohoo now please don’t
call me, I’ll call you.”
Yeesh, that’s a bit
harsh, isn’t it?
Waters: “It’s how I rock and roll.”
Kevin: “Woohoo and lunch? Best day ever!”
Kevin: “Sorry, babe, I have a final test I got to get to. See you
later.”
Waters, sarcastically: “Oh no. Please don’t go. What will I do without-“
Waters: “Yeah, whatever. Bye.”
Hello, officer, what
seems to be the issue?
Officer: “At ease. I’m just dropping off a parcel.”
Huh?
Oh! Tes adopted a
little puppy!
This is Rupert!
Waters: “Finally, a dog of my own.”
Waters: “I love you.”
Uh, Tes, I don’t
think that’s the correct way to hold a puppy…
Waters: “HURK! Oh God, maybe that chilli was too spicy.”
Waters: “Wait, I feel a strange fluttering… What-“
Waters: “YOU!”
Hello!
Waters: “DON’T HELLO ME! YOU’VE IMPREGNATED ME!”
Well, I didn’t, Kevin did, but yes, I pressed the button.
That’s a horribly
cramped space to be vomiting in. I almost feel bad for her.
Waters: “Ugh, I had hoped it was just a dream.”
No, sorry.
Waters: “Hey, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your studying but can
you get down here. It’s an emergency.”
Kevin: “Whoa, if you wanted to hook up, you could’ve just said so!”
Waters: “No, you dingus. Look, what I’m about to tell you is going
to change your life but don’t worry, I’ll give you the option to be involved.”
Kevin: “What?”
Waters: “I’m pregnant. It’s yours.”
Kevin: “Schweet! I was hoping to start a family – granted, I was
waiting until I graduated but. Do you need me to propose or anything?”
Waters: “Propose? Hell no. I don’t do marriage but I understand
that you have the right to be in this child’s life or not.”
Kevin: “Yeah, I wanna be in the kid’s life.”
And then this
happened…
Waters: “I hope my baby is as cute as you, Rupert!”
One step closer!
And then nothing of
interest happened for a whole twenty four hours so let’s get this show on the
road!
Waters: “HELLO! I have this terrible pain in the side of my tummy!”
Waters: “I OWE MY MOM AND DANTE AN APOLOGYYYY-HEEEEEE! HOOOOO!
HEEEE!”
It’s a boy! With
blond hair, from Kevin, and brown eyes! I don’t… know where the brown eyes have
come from but it’s not unwelcome.
I’ve named him Duncan
(shockingly there aren’t a lot of male characters in Sarah Waters’ works… I
wonder why…) from The Night Watch.
Waters: “Huh, I feel this strange surge of love and adoration
towards you.”
Welcome to
motherhood!
Waters: “Please be safe whilst I go take a nap.”
That's a long nap.
Waters: “Ugh, just tell me why I’m awake.”
Because you have a
tiny life that needs caring for now.
Rupert grew up into a
little dog! Everything about Tes’ life is so tiny – tiny baby, tiny house, tiny
dog.
Dante: “Now who’s this guy?”
That would be the
father of your new nephew, Dan!
Dante: “This is my nephew huh? You didn’t get any girls at all, did
you?”
No, even Tes let me
down. Oh well…
Waters: “Dan, can I have my baby back? Dante, I want my baby back!”
Here he goes! It’s
time to see what Duncan will look like!
Oh he’s super cute!! Tes makes cute babies! Filing that away from later use!
And so we move onto Tes’ (technically) Aunt Alcott and Uncle Joe and their son Theodore!
Eegads. Theo will
have nightmares if he looks up. Why are you wearing your underwear?
Alcott: “Why do you think?”
Okay but if you have
another baby, I will rage quit.
Oh my god, how
cuuuuute!!!!
I take it back.
How can the toddlers
go from absolutely angelic to screaming demons?
Is this what they’re
like in real life? God.
Alcott: “You’re such a sweet boy, Theo.”
Alcott: “Come to Mummy.”
Hm. Well, it is his
first attempt.
Alcott has the day
off.
Alcott: “Theo’s asleep and I’m gonna do some selfcare.
Starting with the
hedges?
Alcott: “Tidy hedges equal tidy mind.”
I don’t… Okay.
Self-care indeed.
Alcott keeps rolling wants to get fit so she spends a little time on the
treadmill until Theo wakes up and starts screaming again.
As demonic as Theo
can be, he’s a very sweet little boy.
Also, I’m just
thankful that he doesn’t have Alcott’s huge mouth. He might just wind up
looking really good!
Alcott: “Okay, sleepy time. Daddy’s home and Mommy needs some alone
time.”
Oh my God, don’t tell
a baby that! Don't you have any shame!?
I’ll let them off
seeing as they rarely have time to woohoo because Joe, who's in the Crimincal career, works
most nights and Alcott works the day.
The plus side of Joe
working nights is that he’s rarely tired so he looks after Theo until he gets
tired.
He’s been quite
successful in getting Theo to learn the nursery rhyme he’s being taught.
Joe: “Mommy’s gone to work so it’s just you and me, kiddo! Who
wants a fun bubble bath?”
I think a bubble bath
needs bubbles in it?
Joe: “Or maybe you’ve been playing TS4 too much and you thought
that toddlers could have bubble baths in this version.”
… I’ve been called
out. Wow.
The next day Joe gets
a duff chance card and gets demoted. I’m sorry, Joe. It was my fault…
I can’t handle how
cute Theo is.
See? He’s too
precious!
Sadly the toddler
days only last so long so little Theo grows up!
Yes, he has the best
genes from his parents.
I’ve been blessed.
Alcott: “Finally, a night off.”
You say that like you
haven’t had multiple days off because you were on maternity leave.
Joe and Alcott have
interchanging shifts in that Alcott works the afternoon to late night shift and
Joe works the late night to early morning shift.
So, Joe’s the one
who’s been appointed to help Theo with his homework.
Joe: “I’d rather be swimming.”
I know, but this is
your son.
Joe left his lobster
thermidor in the oven and then pissed off to work.
Can’t see this ending
up in flames or anything…
Hm.
Theodore: “FIRE! FIREEEEE!”
Ah shoot, I forgot
the kid was in the house! I hope the firefighter comes soon!
Theodore: “I’m so glad you’re home, Mommy!”
Alcott: “Aren’t your feet cold?”
God. GOD! Alcott is a
true mother.
Anyway, I think we’ll leave this little trio and move onto Alcott’s twin brother, Joyce and his wife, Allyn, and their twin daughters Gretta and Eveline.
Joyce: “That’s a good girl. You go on the potty.”
Gretta: “Hmmmm…”
She seems so
suspicious of her father’s wise words.
Gretta: “BABA!”
Sorry kiddos, your
parents are currently woohooing… They’ll only be a few minutes if you can wait…
Also spy Eveline
judging Gretta so hard.
Allyn: “Oh, this is the worst thing in the world.”
What?
Eveline: “I WAN SLEEEEEEEEP!”
Oh.
Joyce and Allyn are
very dedicated parents. They sleep when they can but spend most of their free
time with the girls in their bedrooms teaching and playing with them.
Joyce takes the
initiative to teach Eveline how to walk.
Whilst Gretta makes
use of the block toy.
After a nap, Allyn
swoops in and helps Gretta to learn how to walk.
Eveline: “Horsey! I love horsey!”
Allyn: “The girls are asleep and my energy is too high for me to sleep. I guess there’s only one
thing to do.”
Allyn: “Dance!”
And then Joyce comes
in and woos his wife because he was feeling a little lonely.
Allyn: “Hello my little Gretta. You’re such a good girl and barely
ever cry.”
Oh really? That’s not
what I remember.
Allyn: “My girls are perfect angels!”
Ouch, it must hurt to
be phasing through a door like that, Joyce.
What Eveline said:
Eveline: “Baba, if you put me in that water you will regret it.”
What Joyce heard:
Eveline: “I love you, Baba.”
Joyce: “Gotta get squeaky clean, baby girl!”
Joyce: “You were a very good girl today, Evie!”
Eveline: “Evie good!”
Allyn: “Maybe we shouldn’t…”
Joyce: “She sat at the window
watching the evening invade the avenue*-“
Don’t you think
that’s a bit too mature to read to your infant daughter?
Joyce: “But the story’s called Eveline!”
*Eveline (Dubliners) – James Joyce
Allyn: “Thank God for nannies!”
Allyn finally gets a
day off from work and because Joyce has the nanny track his schedule instead of Allyn’s, it means Allyn gets the day to
rest whilst the nanny does the work.
Joyce: “Oh yum, pork chops!”
Allyn: “I didn’t think raising twins would be this difficult.”
Joyce: “Yeah, my mum and dad made it seem so easy.”
That’s because they
had your grandparents helping them, Joyce.
Joyce: “I want to feed my child but she is facing the wrong angle!”
Allyn: “Y’know, nothing is sexier than a man who cares for his own
children.”
Joyce: “Oh?”
Please don’t make any
more children autonomously. Please.
It’s time for the
twins’ birthdays!
Gretta grows up into
a very appropriate nightgown.
Eveline: “Whoa! Sissie is so big!”
And here’s little
Eveline. Thank god for their hairstyles because otherwise I would have so much
difficulty telling them apart.
I can't believe I succeeded in getting identical twins who are actually twins!
Allyn and Joyce
celebrate their daughters’ birthdays musically.
Gretta: “Pancakes for breakfast for our first day of school? Mom
rocks!”
Eveline: “And Baba’s playing the piano.”
Gretta: “Pssh, piano shmiano – pancakes are the best!”
And here is where we leave these twins – struggling with their homework. The next time you see them, they’ll be aging into teens!
And that's it for the last official spares update!
Until next time!
See you!
No comments:
Post a Comment