Tuesday 1 December 2020

The Literal Booker Legacy - The Spares: Waters, Alcott, & Joyce

Welcome back to the spares update! I’m sure you’re all looking forward to seeing what Tes has been up to, aside from partying!

So we start this chapter with Waters Booker, a romance sim with a barrage of suitors!

Waters Booker

And here she is!

Waters: “I’m on the phone!”

Oh. Sorry.

Waters: “No, not you. Listen, can you come over? I’m desperate.”

Waters: “Bring a friend? Usually I’d be down for a little menage a trois but not today. Bring your cute butt down here now.”

Aw Kevin Beare’s back! He must’ve made an impact on Tes during her college years.

Kevin: “Is this love?”

Waters: “Sure.”


Waters: “Booyah!”

Kevin: “This bed is far comfier than the one back at your college house.”

Waters: “Well, you’re not sticking around to get a proper night’s sleep so don’t worry about it.”

Kevin: “This photo is ugly!”

It’s of a sleeping dog. How can that be ugly? Everyone’s a critic…

Making yourself a snack?

Waters: “This is more like, thanks for the woohoo now please don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

Yeesh, that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?

Waters: “It’s how I rock and roll.”

Kevin: “Woohoo and lunch? Best day ever!”

Kevin: “Sorry, babe, I have a final test I got to get to. See you later.”

Waters, sarcastically: “Oh no. Please don’t go. What will I do without-“

Waters: “Yeah, whatever. Bye.”

Hello, officer, what seems to be the issue?

Officer: “At ease. I’m just dropping off a parcel.”

Huh?

Oh! Tes adopted a little puppy!

This is Rupert!

Waters: “Finally, a dog of my own.”

Waters: “I love you.”

Uh, Tes, I don’t think that’s the correct way to hold a puppy…

Waters: “HURK! Oh God, maybe that chilli was too spicy.”

Waters: “Wait, I feel a strange fluttering… What-“

Waters: “YOU!”

Hello!

Waters: “DON’T HELLO ME! YOU’VE IMPREGNATED ME!”

Well, I didn’t, Kevin did, but yes, I pressed the button.

That’s a horribly cramped space to be vomiting in. I almost feel bad for her.

Waters: “Ugh, I had hoped it was just a dream.”

No, sorry.

Waters: “Hey, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your studying but can you get down here. It’s an emergency.”


Kevin: “Whoa, if you wanted to hook up, you could’ve just said so!”

Waters: “No, you dingus. Look, what I’m about to tell you is going to change your life but don’t worry, I’ll give you the option to be involved.”

Kevin: “What?”

Waters: “I’m pregnant. It’s yours.”

Kevin: “Schweet! I was hoping to start a family – granted, I was waiting until I graduated but. Do you need me to propose or anything?”

Waters: “Propose? Hell no. I don’t do marriage but I understand that you have the right to be in this child’s life or not.”

Kevin: “Yeah, I wanna be in the kid’s life.”

And then this happened…

Waters: “I hope my baby is as cute as you, Rupert!”

One step closer!

And then nothing of interest happened for a whole twenty four hours so let’s get this show on the road!

Waters: “HELLO! I have this terrible pain in the side of my tummy!”


Waters: “I OWE MY MOM AND DANTE AN APOLOGYYYY-HEEEEEE! HOOOOO! HEEEE!”

It’s a boy! With blond hair, from Kevin, and brown eyes! I don’t… know where the brown eyes have come from but it’s not unwelcome.

I’ve named him Duncan (shockingly there aren’t a lot of male characters in Sarah Waters’ works… I wonder why…) from The Night Watch.

Waters: “Huh, I feel this strange surge of love and adoration towards you.”

Welcome to motherhood!

Waters: “Please be safe whilst I go take a nap.”


That's a long nap.

Waters: “Ugh, just tell me why I’m awake.”

Because you have a tiny life that needs caring for now.


Rupert grew up into a little dog! Everything about Tes’ life is so tiny – tiny baby, tiny house, tiny dog.

Dante: “Now who’s this guy?”

That would be the father of your new nephew, Dan!

Dante: “This is my nephew huh? You didn’t get any girls at all, did you?”

No, even Tes let me down. Oh well…

Waters: “Dan, can I have my baby back? Dante, I want my baby back!”

Here he goes! It’s time to see what Duncan will look like!


Oh he’s super cute!! Tes makes cute babies! Filing that away from later use!

And so we move onto Tes’ (technically) Aunt Alcott and Uncle Joe and their son Theodore!


Alcott & Joe Haggerty

Eegads. Theo will have nightmares if he looks up. Why are you wearing your underwear?

Alcott: “Why do you think?”

Okay but if you have another baby, I will rage quit.


Oh my god, how cuuuuute!!!!


I take it back.

How can the toddlers go from absolutely angelic to screaming demons?

Is this what they’re like in real life? God.


Alcott: “You’re such a sweet boy, Theo.”

Alcott: “Come to Mummy.”

Hm. Well, it is his first attempt.

Alcott has the day off.

Alcott: “Theo’s asleep and I’m gonna do some selfcare.

Starting with the hedges?

Alcott: “Tidy hedges equal tidy mind.”

I don’t… Okay.

Self-care indeed. Alcott keeps rolling wants to get fit so she spends a little time on the treadmill until Theo wakes up and starts screaming again.

As demonic as Theo can be, he’s a very sweet little boy.

Also, I’m just thankful that he doesn’t have Alcott’s huge mouth. He might just wind up looking really good!

Alcott: “Okay, sleepy time. Daddy’s home and Mommy needs some alone time.”

Oh my God, don’t tell a baby that! Don't you have any shame!?


I’ll let them off seeing as they rarely have time to woohoo because Joe, who's in the Crimincal career, works most nights and Alcott works the day.


The plus side of Joe working nights is that he’s rarely tired so he looks after Theo until he gets tired.


He’s been quite successful in getting Theo to learn the nursery rhyme he’s being taught.

Joe: “Mommy’s gone to work so it’s just you and me, kiddo! Who wants a fun bubble bath?”

I think a bubble bath needs bubbles in it?

Joe: “Or maybe you’ve been playing TS4 too much and you thought that toddlers could have bubble baths in this version.”

… I’ve been called out. Wow.

The next day Joe gets a duff chance card and gets demoted. I’m sorry, Joe. It was my fault…


I can’t handle how cute Theo is.


See? He’s too precious!

Sadly the toddler days only last so long so little Theo grows up!

Yes, he has the best genes from his parents.

I’ve been blessed.

Alcott: “Finally, a night off.”

You say that like you haven’t had multiple days off because you were on maternity leave.

Joe and Alcott have interchanging shifts in that Alcott works the afternoon to late night shift and Joe works the late night to early morning shift.

So, Joe’s the one who’s been appointed to help Theo with his homework.

Joe: “I’d rather be swimming.”

I know, but this is your son.

Joe left his lobster thermidor in the oven and then pissed off to work.

Can’t see this ending up in flames or anything…

Hm.



Theodore: “FIRE! FIREEEEE!”

Ah shoot, I forgot the kid was in the house! I hope the firefighter comes soon!

Theodore: “I’m so glad you’re home, Mommy!”

Alcott: “Aren’t your feet cold?”

God. GOD! Alcott is a true mother.

Anyway, I think we’ll leave this little trio and move onto Alcott’s twin brother, Joyce and his wife, Allyn, and their twin daughters Gretta and Eveline.


Joyce & Allyn Chung


Joyce: “That’s a good girl. You go on the potty.”

Gretta: “Hmmmm…”

She seems so suspicious of her father’s wise words.

Gretta: “BABA!”

Sorry kiddos, your parents are currently woohooing… They’ll only be a few minutes if you can wait…

Also spy Eveline judging Gretta so hard.

Allyn: “Oh, this is the worst thing in the world.”

What?

Eveline: “I WAN SLEEEEEEEEP!”

Oh.

Joyce and Allyn are very dedicated parents. They sleep when they can but spend most of their free time with the girls in their bedrooms teaching and playing with them.

Joyce takes the initiative to teach Eveline how to walk.

Whilst Gretta makes use of the block toy.

After a nap, Allyn swoops in and helps Gretta to learn how to walk.

Eveline: “Horsey! I love horsey!”

Allyn: “The girls are asleep and my energy is too high for me to sleep. I guess there’s only one thing to do.”

Allyn: “Dance!”

And then Joyce comes in and woos his wife because he was feeling a little lonely.

Allyn: “Hello my little Gretta. You’re such a good girl and barely ever cry.”

Oh really? That’s not what I remember.

Allyn: “My girls are perfect angels!”

Ouch, it must hurt to be phasing through a door like that, Joyce.

What Eveline said:

Eveline: “Baba, if you put me in that water you will regret it.”

What Joyce heard:

Eveline: “I love you, Baba.”

Joyce: “Gotta get squeaky clean, baby girl!”

Joyce: “You were a very good girl today, Evie!”

Eveline: “Evie good!”

Allyn: “Maybe we shouldn’t…”

Joyce: “She sat at the window watching the evening invade the avenue*-“

Don’t you think that’s a bit too mature to read to your infant daughter?

Joyce: “But the story’s called Eveline!”

*Eveline (Dubliners) – James Joyce

Allyn: “Thank God for nannies!”

Allyn finally gets a day off from work and because Joyce has the nanny track his schedule instead of Allyn’s, it means Allyn gets the day to rest whilst the nanny does the work.

Joyce: “Oh yum, pork chops!”

Allyn: “I didn’t think raising twins would be this difficult.”

Joyce: “Yeah, my mum and dad made it seem so easy.”

That’s because they had your grandparents helping them, Joyce.

Joyce: “I want to feed my child but she is facing the wrong angle!”

Allyn: “Y’know, nothing is sexier than a man who cares for his own children.”

Joyce: “Oh?”

Please don’t make any more children autonomously. Please.

It’s time for the twins’ birthdays!

Gretta grows up into a very appropriate nightgown.

Eveline: “Whoa! Sissie is so big!”

And here’s little Eveline. Thank god for their hairstyles because otherwise I would have so much difficulty telling them apart.

I can't believe I succeeded in getting identical twins who are actually twins!

Allyn and Joyce celebrate their daughters’ birthdays musically.

Gretta: “Pancakes for breakfast for our first day of school? Mom rocks!”

Eveline: “And Baba’s playing the piano.”

Gretta: “Pssh, piano shmiano – pancakes are the best!”

And here is where we leave these twins – struggling with their homework. The next time you see them, they’ll be aging into teens!

And that's it for the last official spares update!

Until next time!

See you!

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